When insecurities become unhealthy
We are all our own toughest critics, and as a result, insecurities are inevitable and normal. Maybe you don’t like that mole on your lower back. Or it could be more extreme like thinking that your partner might cheat on you. Whatever the case, they are unavoidable, and we all have to learn to live with them.
Unfortunately, there is a fine line between expected anxiety and toxic insecurity. This line is very easy to cross especially in relationships where heightened emotions make us more volatile. These feelings might be what ends your otherwise strong relationship and here is some information that should help avoid this outcome.
How to know your fears are getting toxic
First thing’s first, you need to know how to figure out when a relationship is getting toxic. Following are three of the most common signs of toxicity in a relationship:
Unfounded suspicions and distrust
If you do not trust your partner for no good reason, then there is probably some insecurity you are harboring unwittingly. Such distrust is common with people who have been cheated on in the past. You might also feel this way if your partner has a history of cheating. In both cases, the lack of evidence still doesn’t sway you in which case you end up ruining your relationship from the inside.
Resentment towards your partner
If bottled up, insecurities can and will lead to resentment. Maybe you don’t like how they do not compliment you that often. Or it could be that you find their late-night work escapades suspicious. Eventually, you will end up overthinking and overanalyzing to the point of hating your partner.
Your partner is not the only one in your direct line of fire as a result of insecurity. You too could end up a casualty as a result of self-loathing. Unhappiness with the self happens a lot if the relationship insecurities are focused on body image.
What you can do about it?
1. Let your partner know what you fear
Opening up ensures that you do not end up holding on to any toxic feelings. It also allows your partner to adjust their behavior if it was what was triggering the anxiety.
2. Figure out the source of the insecurity
All your fears have a root. It could be that you were cheated on in the past. Or maybe you have had body image issues for a long time and still hold on to the trauma. Whatever it is, acknowledging the source goes a long way towards dealing with the problem.
3. Take time to work on your self-esteem
No matter how many times your partner reassures you or showers you with compliments if you do not love yourself you will still be insecure. Sometimes the battle is internal, so you need to take some time all by yourself to deal with any self-esteem issues.
4. Learn to trust
Learning to trust someone is important for all types of insecurities in relationships. Remember that your partner is intentionally dating you, so there is a lot that they love about you that keeps them around. So until proven false, give your significant other the benefit of the doubt if anything for your peace of mind.
5. Get out of your head
Stop overthinking things. Overthinking leads to unnecessary worrying and that can put a strain on your love life. So, stop looking for trouble where there is none and focus on enjoying and appreciating your relationship.